These past months, my mind and my emotions have been playing tug-o-war with my sanity. My emotions have been changing faster than quicksilver can flow and I’ve been arguing with myself about whether I’m depressed, bipolar, depersonalized, or if this is all in my head. I have these surges of frustration, extreme rage and sadistic/murderous feelings. They are brief; they last up to 5 seconds. Brief as they are, I need every ounce of energy in this body to resist hurting and/or killing people around me. I think I can understand what Caitlin said about feeling like it’s either suicide or the injury/death of people around her.