I Forgot How Difficult This Is

I miss the medication. Been stuck in this stupid funk for 2 or 3 days now. It’s fucking awful. Sick of everything. No job. Can’t distract myself. Impotent anger. Deeply rooted misery. Whispers of death in the back of my mind (itstheonlywayoutonlywaytofeelbetter). Should have listened to my therapist. I should be in Edmonton. I should be in therapy. I should be on medication. Why did I leave?

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4 Responses to “I Forgot How Difficult This Is”

  1. There is a brave but logical response to your conclusion. Why don’t you take your advice. You can always try to negotiate to do things differently if there were things about your meds etc that needed to change. Things don’t always need to be all or nothing.

    • saintsorrow Says:

      This is all my fault. I let myself be guilted into moving back across the country. My therapist said it was a bad idea, but I didn’t listen to him. There are no therapists out here, only psychiatrists. Difference between the two being that therapists are paid a union or some such thing and psychiatrists charge the patient by the hour. I can’t afford that. I also don’t have a family doctor yet and it has been a year. No doctor, no medication.

      • can you start with finding a doctor? take a list of your old meds and the contact details of your last psychiatrist prepared to give consent for the doctor to contact your old psychiatrist. Then at least the doctor can get your history from the psychiatrist and advice about how to get your meds started asap….

      • I mean the history from your therapist and last family doctor or whoever you were seeing before you moved… International health care systems are so confusing. Sounds like yours is just as bad within country.

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