Big Dumb Rocket On My Mind

I still think about Caitlin a lot. There are many what ifs surrounding everything. What if I listened to her more instead of telling her that she was making herself sick? What if we did more things that friends do instead of whining about how miserable we were? What if her therapist had actually realized she wasn’t faking anorexia? What if I wasn’t such an asshole? What if I knew how to help her? What if I drove her to her eating disorder? What if her other friends knew how to help her?