We Run Colder On the Outside

My mental health is declining. I keep talking to myself. No, scratch that, I keep introducing myself to myself as someone named Michael. My memories keep attacking me, triggering these bizarre incidents. Thank our Lady Tyche that these episodes mainly happen when I am alone. Sleep has been hard to come by. I’m terrified that voice will come back.

So I’ve Generally Been Feeling Like Shit

All I’ve been doing lately is sleeping. Sleeping and playing World of WarCraft. The latter of which is is only fun up to level 20. I’m depressed and tired. I’m tired all the fucking time now. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I think I should go back to bed. I’ve barely been out of bed an hour though. Who cares? It passes time.

O Hai

It’s me again. And I’m tired, as normal. As a high school student, my days are about 18-19 hours long. Not much time for sleep, is there? Pretty much 5 and a half hours of sleep gotten per night, depending on how quickly I fall asleep. Maybe I ought to go to bed early tonight. And if I do that, I’ll feel like shit tomorrow morning. Pfft.

Days are pretty average. Nothing changes too much. Same routine everyday, hell, even the dialogue doesn’t change that much. To try to kill this routine, I sneak off to the Mall every once in a while. To my horror, I find that these Mall excursions are becoming routine, too. They are becoming more frequent and that I’m spending more and more.

Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me To Sleep

What’s this? Waking up a 6am and then going to bed at 11:30pm? This seems familiar… oh wait, this is my sleep schedule for school. But I’m not going to school. It is still AUGUST! But fuck I feel so drained. It’s too early for me to feel this crappy and tired. 5 in the afternoon. How pathetic I’ve become. I’ll try to stay up tonight.

This is why I haven’t been posting all hours of the night lately. This infernal… infernal-ness. But I suppose with all my angsting today I do have a reason to be tired. Angsting is tiring. It kills the spirit. It’s on MySpazz. Sad.

I don’t know why, but I’m sorta annoyed with a certain Puget? Just how can one be annoyed with Jade? I don’t even know him personally and he just sorta chafes my nerves. Perhaps it was the video I never saw on his Blogger. Why I check it obsessively I have no clue.

Talk to you later?

Burn, Motherfucker, Burn!!!

New fetish. Fire. Do you have any idea how mortifying it is to be in someone else’s car, driving past whole neighborhoods swallowed by vegetation and be suddenly turned on by the thought “Wow, that would burn really well!”? Happened last night. On the way to my class last night, it happened. We drove by ‘hoods literally covered in some sort of plant. And DAMN did they look nice to burn. I’m turning into a pyro. And those quaint, old-fashioned houses? They looked very flammable. It’s a good thing I don’t live on that side of Deadmonton. Or they would totally be toast. And it’s a good thing I don’t have access to gasoline. There are some places around here that would be nice to burn aka David’s co-op condos.

And my second project is probably the most controversial thing in the shop. It’s a pentacle. Nicole asked me if I was a Satanist. Jodi thought it was awesome. I think Jodi is awesome. Jodi has all sorts of tattoos. All sorts of piercings. That made my day. Seriously.

And you’d think after staying awake for over 72 hours that I’d sleep for about 10-12 hours. Nope. Try 4. Am I transcending the need for sleep? Maybe.

So, No Sleep Last Night

I wonder how long I can go without sleep. I didn’t sleep at all last night; drank soy milk coffee every couple hours and messed about the MCR and AFI forums. Worried over tomorrow’s class cuz I don’t have any sketchings done for our next project. I suppose I could have started sketching last night, but the forums kept me occupied. I suppose I better get started now.

Instant inspiration! I was flipping through my cds and I saw HIM’s heartagram. So, I want to do either a heartagram or a pentagram. *blink blink* Did I mention that I’m Pagan? I think a pentagram would be really awesome. And be controversial. I’m a controversial person: I’m vegetarian, Pagan, a hater of Jesus-based religions, a left-winger, and I support DIY punk.

Damn, I’m tired. Maybe I should take a nap later. And I got two designs for my next project. I might need a third. Though I technically only need one. There we go: a hexagram, a pentagram, and a heartagram. I can relax now. Well, anyways, NAP TIME!!!!

I Should Just Forsake It Altogether

No sleep!!! At least for the past 20 hours. Stupid body. Will not sleep. I’m hyper. Blog isn’t really organized.

A disappointment: the Devil May Cry 3 manga has been discontinued. I was looking forward to the third and last volume too. Why Suguro-san, WHY?!? Why’d you have to give up?!

And Gerard Way is getting old and disgusting. In an interview he was asked a question. He couldn’t remember the question (old age=bad memory) sooooooooo he started talking about when he lost his virginity. EEEEEWWWWWWW. It traumatized me. It doesn’t seem very Gerard-like.