Suicide

I’m thinking about it myself. I don’t know if Caitlin is alright; I haven’t grown a pair and called her mother yet.

306 by Emilie Autumn

“Three hundred and six
In only six years
If it was an accident
Where are the tears
I am still unidentified
Behind the cathedral
Is where my body hides
But I’m not inside
Just one of sixteen
In only one day
If it was a game
Then why couldn’t I play
I am the abandoner
But still I remain
And my frozen pulse quickens
As the black plot thickens

Like this story I heard
A lifetime ago
Where a girl
(And this is funny)
Took her life
But what she doesn’t know
Is how long it takes
For the water to rise
And the breath to stop fighting
And the cold to close her eyes

Morality plays
On stages of sin
The easy way out
Or the easy way in
I am still overglorified
My reasons to live
Were my reasons to die
But at least they were mine
Now I’ve freedom unbound
Cut the laces of life
The pistol
The poison
The noose
Or the knife
I have chosen my instrument
And said no goodbyes
And my frozen pulse quickens
As the black plot thickens

Like this story I heard
A lifetime ago
Where a girl
(And this is funny)
Took her life
But what she didn’t know
Is how long it takes
For the water to rise
And the breath to stop fighting
And the cold to close her eyes”

Blasphemous Rumours

Girl of 16
Whole life ahead of her
Slashed her wrists
Bored with life
Didn’t succeed
Thank the lord
For small mercies

Fighting back the tears
Mother reads the note again
16 candles burn in her mind
She takes the blame
It’s always the same
She goes down on her knees
And prays

I don’t want to start
Any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God’s
Got a sick sense of humour
And when I die
I expect to find Him laughing

Girl of 18
Fell in love with everything
Found new life
In Jesus Christ
Hit by a car
Ended up
On a life support machine

Summer’s day
As she passed away
Birds were singing
In the summer sky
Then came the rain
And once again
A tear fell
From her mother’s eye

10000 Fists

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten Thousand fists in the air

Power un-restrained dead on the mark
Is what we will deliver tonight, deliver tonight
Pleasure fused with pain this triumph of the soul
will make you shiver tonight, will make you shiver tonight, yeah

Beloved

My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don’t ask me why I’m here
Something deeper brought me
That I need to remember

My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can’t forget what we claimed was ours

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits

Creep

I don’t care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I’m not around.
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

This Time Imperfect

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There’ll be no angels gracing the lines
Just these stark words I find
I’d show a smile, but I’m too weak
I’d share with you could I only speak…
I’d tell you how it haunts me
I’d tell you how it haunts me
You don’t care how this haunts me
There are no flowers, no, not this time
There’ll be no angels gracing the lines
Just these stark words I find
I’d show a smile, but I’m too weak
I’d share with you could I only speak
Just how much this hurts me
Just how much you…

I Can’t Say The Words…

Why can’t I tell her why she makes me cry at the barest hintings of wanting to hurt herself? She is the person whom I consider as my little sister. To know that she doesn’t exactly love herself kills me in ways that no one knows. I hurt. I hurt. I’d do anything to see her happy. Will she ever notice this?

What could you see?
What could you find?
If we meet please avert your eyes.
What I’d never show, what you’ll never find
Is explosive so hide your eyes.

—————-
Now playing: Blaqk Audio – The Love Letter
via FoxyTunes

Yaaaay!

I have officially stayed awake for over 24 hours. Actually, I haven’t slept in two nights, three days. Yay for insomnia.

You know what really pisses me off? Jade (Puget) posted again yesterday. It was a YouTube video and before I could see it, it was taken off YouTube. SUCK. Blogging Zelda has not been updated in a little while. Blogging Final Fantasy has really lame sexual jokes.

I feel so left out. On the MCRForums, Gerard’s face is plastered all over it. I’m sick of Gerard Way. Everyone loves him; I don’t love him. I’m depressed.

Will you wish upon?
Will you walk upon me?
I don’t want to die tonight
Will you believe in me?
And I don’t want to fall into the light